I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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