Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
