This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
