Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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