and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
