end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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