We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
