god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
