i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize