they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
