my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
