Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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