he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
