I'm jealous of your bromance
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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