I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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