BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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