party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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