There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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