Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
