also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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