Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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