pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
