is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize