I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize