you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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