It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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