Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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