Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize