it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize