Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
