That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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