i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
