chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
are you so shy because you have an std?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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