do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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