So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
