I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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