I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
