you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
