and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm really busy with my period
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