All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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