Christians are straight up FREAKS
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
