yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
