We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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