Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
