so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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