thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
