u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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