party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
