the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
