Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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