Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize