Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
