One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
