its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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