yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
