I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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