For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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