You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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