I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
